What could possibly be embarrassing about a mailbox?

Richard and I don’t give each other Christmas gifts. It’s a bit of a Grinch thing… He hates shopping any time of year, but especially during the holidays. So we don’t do it. But there has been something troubling about the Laurel Street Cottage that I’m even embarrassed to call my reader’s attention to… our mailbox.

What? What could possibly be embarrassing about a mailbox? How bad can a mailbox be?

Pretty bad. In fact, it's a downright scandalous state of postal affairs.

Please note the numerous things wrong with this picture starting with the fact that it is the wrong type of mailbox. Clearly it was not designed to be attached to a fence.

Let’s go on to note that the previous owners of our home were not daunted by the challenge of attaching the wrong type of mailbox to the fence. It was a simple matter of rope. At some point the rope was deemed insufficient to hold the mailbox so it was reinforced with loops of wire.

You may notice the curious angle at which the wrong type of mailbox (attached incorrectly to the fence) hangs. It’s about 30 degrees. Nothing like coming home to find your Christmas cards and magazines sitting in two inches of rain water on a wet day. And of course the mailbox acquired a lovely ‘patina’ over time.

For a long time I was in denial about the mailbox. I joked about the mailbox. “It’s the three times wrong mailbox!” I would say. “Three wrongs don’t make a right!” I would laugh.

I have to sympathize with the previous owners a bit. It’s not as if I hadn’t looked for one. You know what kind of mailboxes they carry at Lowes and Home Depot? Lots and lots of versions of the wrong type of mailbox, shown here.

It's even more lovely from the back. Please note the couturier-like detailing of the frayed and moldy rope edges.

In my defense, I bought a nondescript, modern wall-mounted box when we first moved in (a readily available style) but it was roundly rejected as inappropriate by the household and I was forced to return it.

I would just like to repeat, the bland wall-mounted box which I purchased for the house was rejected as INAPPROPRIATE for the style of our house. I am only now wondering at the logic which somehow allowed for the old mailbox to be considered APPROPRIATE. Regardless, the mailbox persisted. Until Christmas. I got us a gift.

They just don't sell these at Lowe's dammit.

I'm no longer the postal scourge of the neighborhood.

I love it sooo much. Yes the fence needs a bit of work now… but scraping, painting and iron finials will have to wait until spring.