There is something I haven't been telling you

I have a giant, red bathtub.

When we first toured the house back when it was on the market, my realtor and I turned the corner into the main bathroom – we both stopped, dumb-struck:

“Well, that’s a conversation piece!” I said.

Indeed, the presence of the giant, red, bathtub has never failed to elicit a reaction from even the most casual of visitors to our home ever since.

I’ve tried to rationalize its presence: “It’s an antique.” I suppose so, but I still don’t want it. Consider this is also an antique:

Merklen Victorian Chair

See what I mean? So that brings me to today. Who wants a red bathtub? Anyone? For free? Any takers? …Bueller?

Hmm. I didn’t think so. I tinkered with it a bit. I cut off the water to the house and attempted to disconnect ‘the conversation piece’ from the main plumbing but I chickened out. There is quite a lot of DIY that I’m willing to take on but plumbing is (and rightfully should be) way over my head.

I really do want this thing gone – am I wrong to feel this way? I feel a little guilty about it. But it is eating up valuable floor in the cottage – and I have fun plans for the space. I can get a plumber to disconnect it, but they’re not going to haul it off to the Preservation Resource Center architectural salvage store for me. I can’t even lift one end of it a millimeter off the floor. Besides, as far as I can tell, it appears the original house was actually built around it. I can see no clear path of escape – other than straight up through a hole in the roof. A crane might be involved.

I wonder if Home Depot rents cranes. In the meantime, the conversation continues.